Being the Girlfriend of a DJ: My Response to that Distasteful Article

Have you ever read an article that you thought you could relate to but once you finish it you realize it was pretty crappy? I did just that a few days ago. Sorry Thump, but your article Being the Girlfriend of a DJ is Not Cool, It’s Shit was horrible. While there are some good points, a lot of what you talked about could be avoided in this kind of situation.

My name is Jessica and I have been romantically involved with a music producer/ DJ for four years. He is my fiancée and the artist that I currently manage. Yes, you read that right: I manage my fiancee’s music career. That is not because we are in a relationship. I have a passion for artist management and a degree to do it.

Below I want to share my experience being in a relationship with a DJ and respond to the Thump article. These are my words, if you have a problem feel free to leave a comment below. A DJ can be a man or woman and my opinions can go for either one.

Jessica Cortez & Nekr0naut

“Your point of view on parties changes.”

You should know the minute you get involved with a DJ that you’ll party a lot. So, before you THINK about getting involved- be happy with having to go out all the time and be a fan of the genre they play. Nonetheless, you can still stay home and let them work but still be supportive.

“As a partner you will stand around while they set up.”

However, you could be productive and help out. Ask if there is something you could do. I’m sure they’ll be happy that you’ve taken interest in the things they do.

As a manager I make sure he has all his cables, I make sure everything is plugged in all the way, I help with sound check, and I make sure he records his sets (even though he’ll still forget.) Then I’ll grab a drink and stand-by. I really don’t mind standing by or somewhat near. I enjoy his music and I really love the passion he has (you could totally see it in his expressions and body language when he performs!)

“While you date a DJ you will never have romantic nights.”

That’s crazy. If you’re involved with a DJ you guys need to make time for romance. Besides being a manager, I write for two websites and work a day job. We find time for each other and I’m sure you can too!

“Socializing at 100db”

Again, if you hate going out on weekends, dating a DJ is not for you. Enjoy the time being out. If you work a lot, parting on the weekend should be a great time. Let loose and dance like no one is watching. Stay classy, you are the DJs right hand. Don’t get plastered and make a fool out of yourself. If you get hit on, straight up tell that person to back off. You are here with your partner- act like it. Talk a friend into coming along, make sure they are a fan of the genre, too, or else they’ll regret being there.

“DJs have Groupies.”

Oh man, I am a jealous girlfriend but I am working on it and he knows it. Sure, some DJs have groupies but those who knowingly hit on a man who has a girlfriend are what I consider “rachet.” This could also pertain to a female DJ with a boyfriend.

My opinion is that the type of groupie varies on the genre. In my personal experience, electronic music that has more bass (i.e dubstep, trap) has some nasty perpetrators. Chill for a second, but really… would you SHOW your children the way you ‘twerked’ at clubs? However, Trance and House fans are usually more into the music than acting stupid. You girls are good girls, at least in my book.

As for me, when I am at his shows, I am 50% his manager and 50% his girlfriend. On the other hand, if I booked the show for him I like to act more as manager than girlfriend. If I catch you trying to hit up my man… I will not be afraid to call you out on your actions. Even though my fiancée isn’t crazy popular, one day when he is and a girl asks him to sign her boobies… I would totally let him. I don’t know why, I think it’s funny though. That’s as far as I’d go.

“Someone asks you to help out at the door? You better run girl!”

If you volunteer to help the club while your partner is performing… you’re an idiot. In a relationship, your priority should be your partner. If you already work for the club then that’s a different story. Thump is right, you’d be thrilled if the club asked for you to help but if they aren’t your employer or offering some money, DENY!

“There is always another party coming.”

What did I say in the beginning? If you’re going to date a DJ you need to be okay with their lifestyle. In Thump’s article they talk about having ‘unpleasant’ guests coming over a lot. If they are unpleasant, talk to your partner or just go away. You don’t always have to be around when they have guests over to talk about music.

On Social Media… “Facebook, you hellhole of a social network.”

Ugh, this is an awful one. Please DJ boyfriends… do not add the ‘rachet’ girls from clubs to your personal Facebook account. DJs all need to have a DJ Page. Pages are for randoms from clubs to follow you without knowing all your personal information. That way it doesn’t drive your girlfriend crazy. Ladies, if you actively check your DJ boyfriend’s Facebook activity then your relationship does not have trust. There will be no future for you two if you can’t trust him. DJ boyfriends, if you have a girlfriend don’t make her jealous!


Source: Flickr | Dylan O’Dowd | DKO Photography

Remember, a relationship, no matter what your career is, should have trust and communication. Check out Kaskade and his wife’s relationship. They are my inspiration. I’m sure they have some struggles that aren’t broadcasted all over the Internet like the Kardashians but they are making it work. They have a home and beautiful daughters together.

Ladies, don’t let articles like Thump’s Being the Girlfriend of a DJ is Not Cool, It’s Shit discourage you from dating whoever you want to! A relationship with a DJ is some work and it does have it’s perks: sharing an interest with your partner, going to new clubs, hearing great music, maybe some free drinks, meeting new people, and maybe meeting some well-known DJs.  Live it up!

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